Did They Really Say That? - Funny Golf Quotes

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Posted by Dexter Francois | Posted in | Posted on Sunday, February 28, 2010

~I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool~ George Brett

~Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that~ Jim Murray

~The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie~ Mickey Mantle

~The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree~ Brian Weis

~Swing hard in case you hit it~ Dan Marino

~My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered~ Lord Robertson

~Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air~ Jack Benny

~There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground~ Ben Hogan

~Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best~ Jack Nicklaus

~The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law~ H G Wells

~I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course~ Billy Graham

~While playing golf today I hit two good balls when I stepped on a rake~ Henny Youngman

~I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

~After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddy for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

~If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball~ Jack Lemmon

~You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work~ Lee Trevino

~I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced~ Lee Trevino

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The Biggest Party In Golf - The 16th Hole

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Posted by Dexter Francois | Posted in , , | Posted on Saturday, February 27, 2010

This weekend is like none other in golf. This is the week when golf is bombarded by over 500,000 of the most raucous fans to attend any sporting event. The TPC Scottsdale Stadium Course hosts the Waste Management Pheonix Open(formerly the FBR Open) which began on Thursday and runs through the final round tomorrow.

I went last year for the third round and had the best time. I got hooked up with some sweet greens keepers tickets which got us into all the hospitality tents. This gave us access to free food and drinks which is always a good thing.

This is truly a unique tournament which is highlighted by the 16th hole. This is the one hole where golf etiquette goes out the door. The completely enclosed hole gives it a true sports arena feeling and the jeering and the trash talking usually reserved for sports like basketball and football finds its way onto the course.

The hole is surrounded by 30,000 screaming and somewhat tipsy(to put it mildly)fans. It's all about pleasing the fans at the 16th. If they love you, they will cheer you. If you went to school at the University Of Arizona like Rory Sabbatini, then you get booed as the 16th is dominated by Arizona State University students.

All the players talk about the 16th hole. Some start thinking about the tee shot as soon as they wake up. Some claim that they don't think about until they walk up to the tee box. It is one of the most intimidating yet fun holes in golf. If you hit the green in one then they cheer for you. If you miss the green, you are going to get booed. Harshly. If you get a hole in one, there's going to be a party.

The best thing that happened that day was when Ted Purdy, a native of Arizona stepped up to the tee at 16. If you remember the Cardinals were in the Superbowl the next day and the crowd was in even more of a frenzy than usual.

The crowd went silent and Purdy unleashed his iron towards the green. The crowd erupted as if they knew something great was about to happen. Purdy’s ball landed within a foot of the cup and the crowd exploded. I could feel the stands shaking beneath me from all the raucous. I was going nuts too.

What happened next was the highlight of all highlights. Purdy reaches into his bag and pulls out an Arizona Cardinals flag and starts waving it back and forth. The crowd lost it. I have never heard such a roar in my life. Purdy then starts to run all the way to the green still waving the flag.

When he got to the green he stopped. Looked at the ball. Then looked at the crowd and then started waving the flag again. Once again the crowd went crazy. He tapped in for birdie and left to a standing ovation.

I still get goosebumps thinking about it now. The energy was unbelievable. This is one event that everyone has to go to at least once in their lifetime even if you are not a golf fan. Have a good one and always hit your target.





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The Swing Plane Fix With Hank Haney

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Posted by Dexter Francois | Posted in , , | Posted on Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I just finished watching the final two episodes of "The Haney Project with Charles Barkley." I've seen it a dozen times already but I just can't get enough of it. I love routing for the underdog and I am hoping that Sir Charles sticks with it. I can't wait to see how Ray Romano does when he becomes Haney's next pupil. Romano's goal is breaking 80. It will be interesting to see if he can meet his expectations.

Barkley's main problem is his infamous hitch
which takes him off the proper swing plane. Teachers always talk about swinging the club on the proper swing plane which gives the golfer the best opportunity to make solid and square impact with the ball.


I have been working hard for past few weeks on keeping my posture and making a consistent swing along the proper plane. I have noticed that I am making better ball contact and eliminating the "shanks" that always seem to creep in every now and then.

This short video by Hank Haney is a great start in getting yourself swinging on the right plane. Practice this and soon you will be hitting straighter and more solid shot. Have a good one and always hit your target.



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Playing Under Windy Conditions

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Posted by Dexter Francois | Posted in , | Posted on Thursday, February 18, 2010

It's been windy here in S. Florida for the past few days and I have been having a hard time getting used to it. Everyone enjoys the perfect day on the golf course, but it is necessary, as I am finding out, to know how to play different shots, adjusting for wind direction.

The following video gives us some good things to think about when standing over a shot on a windy day. The key is to get out there and practice under these conditions. That is the only way you will begin to see improvement

Enjoy the video and enjoy hitting more greens under any condition. Have a good one and always hit your target.



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The Lighter Side Of Golf - Funny Golf Quotes

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Posted by Dexter Francois | Posted in | Posted on Thursday, February 11, 2010

~If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf~ Bob Hope

~The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs~ Henny Youngman

~For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball~ Dave Barry

~Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can't play it~ Ted Ray

~You've just got one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you've hit it~ Sam Snead

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Dinner, The Golf Fix With Michael Breed & Christina Kim, And My New Twitter Account

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Posted by Dexter Francois | Posted in , , , | Posted on Monday, February 8, 2010

I just got back from practicing. I just hit my 52 degree wedge today. I haven't been striking the ball well lately(a bout with the shanks) so I've decided to make this a wedge only week. I am trying to just find my shot and groove it so that it becomes second nature.

Today is Monday and that always means The Golf Fix live with Michael Breed for me. Tonight he welcomes The Christina Kim of the LPGA Tour. I write "The" Christina because that's her screen name on twitter(TheChristinaKim).

I'm a fan of Christina Kim. I like her attitude and the energy she brings to the game. Some of said that she may be a little over the top. But I don't think so. In a game that is sometimes considered to be stale and boring, she brings excitement and brightness that is good for the game.

I can't even imagine how crazy this episode is going to be. Breed is already like a fire cracker and adding Kim is going to be explosive. I don't think that they will be able to keep up with each other.

On another note, I finally created a twitter account for Golf Tips & Quips. You can check it out here. Kim is an avid tweeter and as is still tweeting right now minutes before her appearance on the show.

I wanted to see what other golfers were tweeting and I found twitter-athletes.com. If you click on the golf tab you will find players from both the PGA and LPGA. This is a way to see the players just being themselves. We only see them on the golf course, but sometimes it's interesting to find out what they do on a daily basis.

Well I have to go and finish cooking dinner so that I don't miss any of the show. Make sure to follow this blog on twitter to find out what I'm doing to get better at this frustrating yet addictive game. Have a good one and always hit your target.



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Golfing With "Iggy" The Iguana

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Posted by Dexter Francois | Posted in , | Posted on Sunday, February 7, 2010

I was supposed to play a round yesterday but my friend bailed out on me. How disappointing. I was excited to play because I haven't been able to play in a week. I've been practicing at my private course, but nothing beats actually playing a course.

We were supposed to play Crandon Park Golf Course at Key Biscayne, FL. It's one of my favorite tracks to play. It has held Q-School qualifying tournaments. The course is always in great condition and the scenery rivals that of any course in America.

It sit off the shores of Biscayne Bay and it would be surprising if you didn't see an alligator or two somewhere along the way. There are all kinds of wildlife that call Crandon home. There are many species of birds. The domesticated raccoons are not shy and will wander up to your cart in search of food.

My favorite are the Iguanas. They rule this course. They number in the hundreds and can be found at every turn. Normally they are afraid of humans and run away(They are surprisingly fast). If they ever decided to chase me, I would have no chance.

On our last outing we came up on the 11th and we were greeted by a welcoming committee. A group if iguanas were sunning themselves on the green, basking in the afternoon sunlight. All of them save one ran off immediately. He was the biggest of the crew.

My friend Kevin is the adventurous one of the group. He decided to get in close for a photo op. He coaxed "Iggy" the iguana up onto the green for better shot. I was expecting him to try to pick him up, but even Kevin isn't that crazy. I wasn't getting near him. I took the picture. It seems like I'm close but I actually zoomed in. I was keeping my distance.

So how about you? Have you had any encounters with nature during a round? Hopefully all of your encounters with nature are pleasant ones. Have a good one and always hit your target.

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I Was A "Loudmouth" Before John Daly

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Posted by Dexter Francois | Posted in , , | Posted on Friday, February 5, 2010

So John Daly has changed his mind again. He has decided to keep playing. He cited frustration for his recent contemplation to retire. After missing the cut at the Farmers Insurance Open it was evident that he was fed up with his game.

Some say that this last episode was a publicity stunt to help promote his new reality show "Being John Daly" to be aired on The Golf Channel. Whether or not this is true is debatable but I'm sure that it has enticed a few more people into viewing the show. If just out of curiosity.

Larry Jackson, chief executive of Loudmouth Golf, the company that makes Daly's LOUD pants told reporters at the PGA merchandise show, "John's an emotional guy. He's not quitting, he's already said he just needs some time. He will be back. He'll be at the AT&T." Daly received a sponsor exemption to play the AT&T held at the famed Pebble Beach on February 11-14.

Personally I am glad Daly has decided to stick it out. We all make mistakes and life is all about how we rebound from them. I respect the fact that he is trying to deal with his problems and the fact that he is doing so in the public eye. You and I do not have the cameras following our every move. He is always in the spotlight and this makes his situation even tougher.

On another note, I'm pulling for John Daly because we have the same taste in style. Last May a few buddies and I played in the annual South Florida S.P.C.A Golf Tournament and Fundraiser Par For The Horses held at The Westview Country Club in Miami.

Since it was the first tournament I had ever played in, I wanted to have fun with it. I decided to find the craziest pants that I could find. I came across the Loudmouth website and fell in love with their pants. They are loud. A little bit arrogant, in your face, and down right ugly(By the way. I bought them before J.D. went public with his. So it can be said that he got the idea from me).

My friends chickened out and didn't get any pants. They regretted it though. I was the talk of the tournament. When I got out of the car I walked to the pro shop and I could hear people whispering as I was walking by. They were wondering if I was someone famous. Who could this be? The funniest thing I heard as I was walking was this guy who said, "I bet you he ain't s*?t." I just laughed because he was absolutely right. But my pants didn't say so.

When I got to the cart one of the caddies ran over to me and offered to drive me to the driving range. He was asking me if I had ever played there before. He gave me advice on reading some of the greens. My friends on the other hand were left standing there to find their own way to the range. The caddy obviously thought I was somebody. Little did he know I was just a 24 handicap(currently 16.9) hacker who just had a great sense of style.

Two things I learned that day. First, don't be afraid to be different. Second, being different gets you noticed. I made a lot of new friends that day and some potential contacts for projects down the road. I don't think that would have happened if I had stayed in my shell.

I know I had a much better time than my friends did. It's amazing what simple pair of pants can do for you. I got all kinds of extra free stuff that they didn't get. It's all about how you portray yourself. People make their assessment and assumptions about you in the first few minutes you meet. And that can make or break an opportunity.

Well it's time to go practice. If I'm going to be wearing these outlandish pants I better have the game to match. Have a good one and always hit your target.



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Airhorns And Bratty Teenagers Will Not Break My Concentration

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Posted by Dexter Francois | Posted in , | Posted on Tuesday, February 2, 2010

I'm sure everyone has watched this scene from the Jackass movie. What would you do in this situation? We know how the pros react. Some of the glares that they give the gallery can be deadly. John Daly was injured trying to stop his back swing after being distracted by a fan taking his picture. Concentration is paramount with the pros.

This is something I deal with often. I'm am fortunate to have a free golf course near my house where I can practice everyday(weather permitting as it floods when it rains a lot). It used to be a par 3 course that cost $7.00 to play. The city ended up giving part of the land to the local high school but kept 6 holes open.

The neighboring golf course maintains it pretty well. Nothing to rave about other than the fact that it is free and I can practice there all that I want. I have made a few friends out there over the past year. Fellow hackers like myself who just want to get better. Dreaming of what could and may be.

Like I said the course neighbors the local high school and of course the students make their way into the line of fire from time to time. While I'm hitting, kids will scream at me to try to distract me. They make fun of my swing and shout out all kinds of silly names. It's comical actually.

I don't get angry. I used to do the same thing(sometimes still do). I take it as a challenge to concentrate harder. It actually prepares me for when I play with my regular foursome. A group of guys who's etiquette on the course is sometimes questionable. My buddies and I are always trying to get in each others heads. What my buddies don't know is that my high school pranksters are only making me mentally stronger.

So what would you do if you were in the middle of a round and suddenly you were interrupted by an air horn or a snotty nosed teenager? Would you lose it, or just laugh it off? You have to admit. It is pretty funny. As long as it doesn't happen during the middle of your swing. Have a good one and always hit your target.



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